Cricket “Down Under”

I am reading a book by the American author Bill Bryson called ‘Down Under’. Not unlike his other well-known book, ‘A Walk in the Woods’ that takes place along the Appalachian Trail, it’s a humourous, historical travelogue of Australia. It was recommended to me by a couple from Adelaide now living in B.C.

I was laughing out loud reading it on the beach, to the amusement of the couple on the towel near me.

His description of Cricket is hilarious from my North American perspective. When Keith and I first arrived in Adelaide we were met at the airport by my friends Lori and Bob. They drove by the stadium where they’d spent 10 hours the day before at a Cricket match. We all found that incredulous.

So here’s an excerpt. “Imagine a form of baseball in which the pitcher, after each delivery, collects the ball from the catcher and walks slowly with it to centre field: and… after a minutes pause to collect himself, he turns and runs full tilt towards the pitcher’s mound before hurling the ball at the ankles of a man who stands before him wearing a riding hat, heavy gloves of the sort used to handle radioactive isotopes; and a mattress strapped to each leg. Imagine, moreover, that if this batsman fails to hit the ball in a way that heartens him sufficiently to try and waddle sixty feet with the mattresses strapped to his legs he is under no formal compulsion to run; he may stand there all day, and as a rule does. If by some miracle he is coaxed into making a misstroke that leads to his being put out, all the fielders throw up their arms in triumph and have a hug. Then tea is called and everyone retires happily to a distant pavilion to fortify for the next siege. Now imagine all this going on for so long that by the time the match concludes autumn has crept in and all your library books are overdue.

It is the only sport in which the spectators burn as many calories as players. It is the only competitive activity of any type, other than perhaps baking, in which you can dress in white from head to toe and be as clean at the end of the day as you were at the beginning. There you have cricket.”